"I hate team conflict!" In a recent seminar, participants voiced concerns about dealing with team conflict. Conflict among team members can 
cause divisiveness, lead to cliques and, if left to fester, can infect the entire team. Who is responsible for resolving the conflict? Here are some key issues for you to discuss with your own team at your next staff meeting:
Who should resolve the conflict?
Ideally, conflict is resolved at the same level that it occurs. For example, if 2 team members are in disagreement about how a task is to be handled, it is best that these same 2 people resolve the disagreement themselves (always keeping in mind the greater good for the office). Don’t take the issue to the next level (manager or boss) unless it’s a last resort – it is far better to manage the issue between the people directly involved, and at the level at which it occurred.
When should the issue be discussed?
The sooner the better. Problems don’t typically resolve themselves. However, be judicious in your choice of time for the discussion. Consider having the discussion at the end of the day and in a private area, out of earshot of others. If you feel emotional about the issue, waiting until the end of the day can help you get on a more even keel.
Choose your words carefully
Keep your desired outcome in mind as you consider how you’ll approach the problem. Choose words carefully … words that are calm and focus objectively on the issue. Emotionally charged words like, “You always ….” or “You never …” are sure to start a fight or cause the other person to become defensive. Use words like, “I get upset when …” or “I think our team will function better if we …” Talking about what is best for the department or the team will be received far more positively than words that sound highly personal, mean-spirited or accusatory.
When do we escalate the problem?
Maybe you’ve tried to resolve the problem but you’re at an impasse. If the problem absolutely can’t be resolved at the same level that it occurred, you still have choices. Saying something like, “Nancy, you and I have tried to resolve this to no avail, so let’s look at our alternatives.” Do not go behind Nancy’s back to talk with the office manager by yourself. This can cause more problems! Instead consider having a staff mediator to arbitrate the issue. Some offices have a procedure in place for exactly such situations.
The 2 individuals in disagreement may jointly decide on an objective third-party who will be the mediator of the issue. This could be someone who is knowledgeable about the department or the issue. If everyone in the office understands that this is the way that problems are resolved, then it is likely that team members will strive to resolve their own issues or entrust the final decision to a respected peer. The role of mediator ideally would be shared by all team members at one time or another.
The boss, business or office manager
After exhausting staff-based resolution to no avail, the last alternative is to take the issue to the “higher authority” in the office. In a perfect world, it would be rare for a problem to be taken to that level. Regardless of where the problem is resolved, it’s vital for all parties to accept the resolution made, whether they like it or not! Holding grudges only exacerbates on-going problems and is unhealthy for all concerned.
This topic is addressed in the following seminars of Suzanne’s:
*Managing Maalox Moments Assertively and Confidently
*The Cohesive Team: Managing the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team
Contact us to bring these topics to your study club, association or your own office!
Find program details here!