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 NEWSLETTER    June, 2010
Wishing you all a healthy and happy summer!

A MANAGEMENT "MUST-READ":

"What Got You Here Won't Get You There"

     Marshall Goldsmith wrote a superb book with the title above.  In it he addresses the 20 workplace habits we need to break to become even more successful. Marshall Goldsmith is one of the most successful CEO consultants in the US.  He teaches top executives how to be more effective and how to look objectively at themselves. 

   The most powerful point he makes is this:  Don't assume that everything you have done (or you currently do) makes you effective.  You may look at the big picture and say, "I did well!" and you may attribute the success to everything you did.  However, maybe you could have done BETTER if you DIDN'T do some of the things you did! 

     Maybe we'd do better if we STOPPED some of our behaviors that have turned into bad habits!  We may not even be aware of these bad habits, but it's likely that people around us are aware of them!  The bottom line is that we can't attribute our successes to EVERY action we've taken!  This requires us to take a really hard look at ourselves - especially in how we manage our relationships with others!    

     I encourage leaders to read this book, even though at times it may be painfully, brutally honest in its observations of behavior and how we can trip up on ourselves!

"What Got You Here Won't Get You There",

Marshall Goldsmith, Hyperion Books, New York, 2007

Criticizing Artfully

   Oh, my, this is such a difficult thing to do! It's a BIG topic and there are as many "don'ts"as there are "do's" in constructive critique.  Most importantly, recognize that when you venture into the area of critique you must wade carefully because your words and your actions are likely to be remembered and you can't erase what you say!

     Before you consider providing any critique, look into your heart and your mind.  What is the purpose of the critique?  Is it primarily because you're irked at the other person, or do you want to help the other person improve?  Would you really like to give that person a verbal belting or give a helping hand?  Studying your own intentions are vital to looking at how a critique will proceed.

 

Here are just a few tips related to critique:

 

THE DO'S:

  • Think before you speak - don't critique when you're angry it can haunt you later!
  • Get your facts together ahead of time - be prepared!
  • Start your sentences with "I" words,"I feel we can do better when ..." "I feel upset when..." (then describe behavior).
  • Start the conversation with a positive, then address the negative and close with a positive statement.
  • Ask non-threatening open-ended questions to engage the person in conversation. LISTEN without interruption while the other person answers.
  • Be firm and focused when you ask for what you do want in behavior or action.

 

THE DON'TS:

  • Don't make sweeping generalities about what the other person does or says, you'll lose credibility and you're likely to escalate emotions.
  • Avoid the word "you" at the start of the sentence - it can sound accusatory and  can put the other person on defensive.  This is especially bad when phrased as "you never" or "you always".
  • Don't minimize your request for change in the other person.  If you dilute your message it won't be taken seriously.
  • Don't critique one person in front of others or in earshot of others.  This is significant in the office whether it's in front of team mates, patients or clients.
  • Remain calm.  Even in the face of anger by the other person, maintain control over your own emotions!

 

PAINT WITH A SMALL BRUSH

     In criticizing artfully, it's key to paint with a small brush - be specific to ensure you're understood.  I'm not suggesting that you get picky or micromanage, but paint a clear picture of what you want. If you paint with a broad brush, you probably hope that the other person "gets it".  However, it's more likely that you've allowed vague communication to underlie what will become an ongoing problem.

 

If you paint with a broad brush, don't blame others if they don't get the picture!

ABOUT BOSWELL PRESENTATIONS:

Suzanne Boswell provides seminars for teams throughout US, Canada and in Europe.  Topics include team building, assertiveness training, communications, relationship building, impression management and more.  Extensive information is accessible at the links to the left.

 

Click here to see CLIENT ENDORSEMENTS of programs.  To inquire about a presentation for your group call USA  1-919-845-4189 (US Eastern time zone) OR you may contact us through this link. 

Do NOT understand me too quickly

     At first this statement may not make sense.  It requires a bit of thought and it then becomes crystal clear. It's a quote of the author Andre Gide.  Though he may have spoken this as it related to his own life, it applies to all of us. We don't want snap judgments applied to us.

    OK, we all attempt to understand others as quickly as possible, but we must also question our perspectives.  We tend to look at others through our own filters and this perspective is often wrong. 

     The very best way to truly understand another person and the intentions of another person is to ASK!  If you're unsure about the intentions of another person, if you're unsure about what their words really mean, it's far better to ask than to jump to conclusions.      It seems so simple to say, "just ask" but it's something that many people don't feel comfortable doing.  The next step is to LISTEN. Today there's altogether too much talking and not enough listening.  Don't interrupt, don't talk over the other person, just breathe and listen.  This is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person!  Allow the other person the gift of being heard!

     Let's say that a team mate enters the office in the morning looking very introspective and quiet.  This is out of character for this person.  Are you supposed to magically know how to interact with her?  Are you going to assume that she's in a bad mood and you should steer clear of her?  Would you be considered a "bad person" if you said something to her?  Would it be "wrong" to say, "Nancy, you looked deep in thought when you came in this morning, are you feeling okay today?"  If your intentions are good and if you say this with care, you're likely to come closer to understanding what she's dealing with or if there's an issue at all!  You'll also come closer to enhancing the relationship with her through your being empathic.

The Fallacy of "Exceeding Expectations" 

     I pause to think every time I hear someone talk about exceeding expectations.  How can we know how to exceed expectations until we know what the expectations are?  So how can you know? ASK!

     This is a smart and caring thing to do and it will set you apart.  Find a way to ask ... a way that is comfortable and natural for you.  If it's not an individual you're asking, but a group, you might ask a representative of the group.  Better yet, do a survey or a needs analysis to better understand them, to help them feel understood and to learn what they expect of you.  Then you're on the right path to exceed their expectations!

A MANAGEMENT "MUST-READ":

Team Bonding = Team Building

   The beginning of summer is an ideal time to re-focus on building a stronger team.  One small part of this effort can be re-appreciating each member of the team. A group of people is not a team until they are able to value and respect each other.  It is then that they're able to focus on a common mission.

     Therefore, it's key for members of a team to view each other as important, valuable members of the whole.  How do you help to make that happen?  In some groups, particularly smaller ones, it can happen on its own.  The personalities of the team members certainly comes into play as does the size of the team.  It's harder for a larger group to feel a sense of team without a little help.

   So here is a method to help to bring a team together ... either a newly formed team or a long-term team that has gotten in a rut and needs a little CPR!

 

PRINT OUT YOUR PLAN

    Plan a short (approximately 1 hr) office meeting, perhaps during lunch time.  Provide each person with meeting guidelines.   Click here to print out the guidelines. 

 

    You could post this in the break room for the group.  It is key, however, that they DO NOT DISCUSS their thoughts with each other in advance or you'll lose the power of the exercise.  Have them bring their paper/notes to the meeting, then go round-robin with each person sharing openly what they wrote down. This must be done quickly or you can get bogged down and won't be able to finish the process - it is important that EVERYONE provide their input to this process.

 

THE BENEFITS OF THIS PROCESS

    Some people may perceive this as non-productive time.  Quite the contrary.  It is this re-focusing that can get a team back on track and re-energized.  This is a VERY powerful exercise and your team members will remember what has been said.  This can go a long way toward helping people remember the strengths of each other and to keep from focusing entirely on the weaknesses.

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